I have to do a short survey for school by friday deciding on which diploma type I'm going to get (which is going to alter my courses and everything) and which CTE program I wanna do throughout highschool. I'm gonna do an honors diploma for my first year and then switch to standard for the last three years, but I'm really upset that there's such a small variety of CTE programs :( I think I'm going to do the "early childhood education," though. Really, none of them allign with what I wanna do with my life. I feel like the early childhood education program will be, although not quite rewarding, the most rewarding out of the few options that I have, even if it's just cause it'll be a bit more fun :)

I had to write a descriptive essay for school about my "special place." I don't really have a special place, and my writing teacher wouldn't let us write about someone, or really anything metaphorical in that sense, so I tried to be original and write about being underwater. There's a lot of extra bs so I could meet my word count, though I might tweek it a bit here. That being said, here it is, "Tranquility on the Sea Floor."
In “The experience of drowning,” a study done by Michael Tipton and Hugh Montgomery, it states that a large portion of respondents described their experiences with drowning as peaceful. In the non-aspiration group, 13 people described it as the most pleasant experience they’ve ever had, and 19 stated it was “one of the more peaceful ways to go,” after the initial pain faded. This study perfectly explained how I felt, rough housing in bodies of water since I was a young child until not too far back. The bottom of a body of water is special to me because of the serene feeling I get when all my worries fade away, the nostalgia, and how connected I feel to aquatic life forms.
The first reason why being under water is special to me is the serenity that fills my system. The last time I felt truly at peace was when my niece, nephew, sister and I were rough housing in the pool. I was pinned to the floor of it, and I watched the Ivory clouds as I exhaled through my mouth. The air bubbles brushed my face as I thought of what it would be like to stay underwater forever, or if I was ever presented with the option to be able to fly or breathe underwater, which would I choose? There would be voices overhead, muffled laughing, and I’d be pulled back up. As the air filled by lungs, I’d already want to go back under. The pressure of the water felt adjacent to a hug, warm and cold all at once. Underwater, my worries would wash away. I’d no longer feel dirty or not in control. It was pure and it gave me a grasp on my life.
Another reason why being under water is so special to me is how nostalgic it feels. Swimming was a large part of my childhood, even though I didn’t do it often. For years, every birthday was at Krul Lake in Florida. For years after that, my sister’s and my treat from my dad was going to the creek not too far from our house. Now, I spend most days just sitting in our own pool at my mom’s, or in the creek deep in the woods by her house. Whenever I slip into the water my first instinct is to submerge myself and let the icy feeling envelope my body. The birds are singing and the evening crickets chirp. The water was always beautiful, but this is when I loved it most. The sunlight beams through the trees, hitting the water just right to illuminate the whole floor of sand. It never gets old.
Finally, underwater is special to me because of the connection to aquatic life forms I feel. I’ve always loved aquatic life. In fact, most of my favorite animals are sea creatures. When I dive down under the water, dragging myself across the sand in the creek or lake, I feel at home. When I see the fish, both big and small, I feel safe and yet vulnerable, both at once. I pull myself forward with my palms on the smooth sand or rough bark of river wood, my legs doing little work so I can take my time to observe the minnows and seagrass. I will forever mourn the life I could have lived as an aquatic animal.
The floor of any body of water will always be important to me because of the light feeling in my chest knowing I don’t have to worry anymore, and I will always be eternally grateful for the water spirits that make me feel welcomed and safe in the water, especially during the harder times in my life when nothing else helps.